Three Is The Magic Number
BY CHRISTINE EVERHART
MARCH 20, 2023
The moment Vanity Fair and fans from every corner of every universe have been waiting for. After hinting the reveal of the most anticipated PlayStation 5 exclusive ever, and constantly denying the involvement of any of the various clues having anything to do with Spider-Man, going as far as to compare the over six month denial to a game of Werewolf, with Stark lying to fans about the game being the highly anticipated sequel to 2018’s Marvel’s Spider-Man, it is clear as of March 20, 2023…
Tony Stark is the Werewolf
The genius, visionary, Tony Stark, three days after lying to the world about his abrupt retirement immediately after revealing the release year for the anticipated Wolverine video game due to be launched in 2025, and existing in the exact same universe as Marvel’s Spider-Man, Earth-1048, seemingly out of absolutely nowhere, sent an eighteen second video featuring a picturesque shot of the Statue of Liberty against the backdrop of a beautiful sunset watching over The City That Never Sleeps, before the screen cuts to black, revealing a spider logo. A sinister laugh can be heard shortly afterwards.
Fellow New Yorkers and Spider-Man fans across every universe know that the Statue of Liberty is a place that represents second chances, so it is only fitting the amazing monument was used in the video.
Here’s the real blockbuster though, brace yourselves, you might want to sit down. The video was also posted by three separate individuals, who all go by the name ‘Peter Parker’ and a fourth individual called ‘Miles Morales,’ who also posted an almost identical video to the three Peter Parkers.
The three Peters all posted the video, which after the beautiful scene of New York, again, immediately cuts to a white Spider logo against a pitch black background. Miles Morales’ video uses the same gorgeous, picturesque view of the city against the striking sunset before again cutting to black but with a red Spider logo against the dark background rather than a white one.
Similar to Stark’s upload though, the videos posted by all four individuals again are all followed by a sinister and evil, manic laugh. It is not clear who or what this laugh originates from, however, Doctor Norman Osborn, also posted the exact same video as the three Peter Parkers and Miles Morales, albeit without any Spider logos.
Variety Fair and other fans from across the universe also want to point out that Doctor Norman Osborn has strangely changed his name on Twitter to “Green Goblin” and posted the video not only without any Spider logos at the end but also with a sinister message that the other accounts do not have. The video cuts straight to black after that same shot of New York City with no logos at all with that same sinister laugh at the end. The Green Goblin left this chilling message:
Can the Spider-Man come out to play
Fans suspect that the reason his video did not contain a Spider logo and contains this disturbing message is because Doctor Osborn, as the Green Goblin is against Spider-Man and wants to kill him, determined to cause havoc across New York City and hurt or even kill anyone in the city and destroy anything if necessary. It is suspected that Doctor Osborn has become the Green Goblin and wants to destroy both Spider-Men; the one in the blue and red suit with the white Spider emblem and the one in the black and red suit with the red Spider emblem.
Savvy and eccentric designer, Edna Mode left a series of comments under (what is now known as the Green Goblin’s) post, confirming in haste that she had secretly designed a green suit for Doctor Osborn along with some sort of glider without intentionally knowing he was planning to use the outfit for what she described as “pure evil.” Vanity Fair sat down with Edna Mode a few weeks ago to discuss her future work and Edna deflected our questions regarding any new designs for Doctor Osborn. Edna has confirmed on Twitter and to Vanity Fair that she has ceased business with Doctor Osborn and wants no affiliation with him. Edna did not once use her common greeting of the word “dahling,” in any of her recent tweets to Osborn, a word residents from all universes are aware she casually uses to address everyone she speaks to. Fans suspect Edna Mode is the most furious she has ever been in her life over Doctor Osborn’s apparent betrayal.
We’re hoping that China does not remove the accounts of Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Miles Morales, Peter Parker and Peter Parker due to The Statue of Liberty being featured in the videos, however we can’t be sure. Fans say China did this regarding another highly successful presentation released just over a year ago in December 2021. Fans also say they don’t care whether China bans the Doctor, formally known as Norman Osborn and blocks his video from the country as they are terrified from his recent disturbing post and do not want any harm to come to Spider-Man.
Fans from the Twitter-Verse in Earth-091523, and Christine Everhart of Vanity Fair have brought this and Doctor Osborn’s behavior to the New York Police Department’s (NYPD) attention who say they will not be investigating the matter. “Changing your name on Twitter or any social media site is not a criminal offence in this or any other universe,” says Captain George Stacy. “It doesn’t matter if it’s the Twitter-Verse or the Multi-Verse, the Spider-Verse, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Meta-Verse, even the DC Universe or the DC Extended Universe for God’s sake. Any universe for that matter. Changing your name, profile picture and biography on social media is not a criminal offence. We would appreciate it if you stop tagging the New York Police Department and our officers on Twitter, stop messaging us about this. You are wasting police’s time. In fact, Miss Everhart, if anyone has been committing a crime here it’s you. Are you aware there’s already a Vanity Fair in existence in this universe with a federal trademark which you are infringing on right now at this exact moment? You may be clear in another universe with ‘Vanity Fair’ Miss Everhart but in this one; this version of Vanity Fair has no affiliation with you. I suggest you watch your step, Miss Everhart.”
It’s clear the NYPD will be of no assistance in the matter, however, Vanity Fair has reached out to a young woman called Gwendolyne who assures us this matter “will not be ignored for much longer,” and that “the authorities will soon be forced to consider this as a high priority.” Let’s just hope it’s not too late before they do.
Returning to the videos posted by Tony Stark, the three Peter Parkers and Miles Morales; all videos contain an address, phone number, email address and a website to a bakery based in Manhattan Avenue, Brooklyn, New York called Peter Pan Donut & Pastry. We don’t really see the connection as to why this specific bakery was mentioned, however, we spoke to Donna Siafakas, the co-owner of the bakery who told us “people have been visiting the bakery very often, specifically since December 17, 2021, and now the phone hasn’t stopped ringing since Tony Stark’s announcement yesterday.” Again, we’re not sure what the connection is at all, however, Ned Leeds, an MIT student we spoke to in May 2022, who prefers to be called the CEO of Sex, says “their donuts are the best in New York and the employees are pretty sweet. Not that being pretty gives women value” but that “only real Spider-Man fans will understand all of this.” Ned told Vanity Fair he watched the videos but has no idea who Peter Parker or Miles Morales are.
Anyway, at Vanity Fair we have the great responsibility to give fans the greatest entertainment news and to deliver it in a way they have never seen before and will never see again, so give the following businesses a follow on Instagram, leave a like or comment or send them a message saying something kind. Give them a call and order something from them one day. Without them, none of this would be possible for the most serious Spider-Man fans in every universe who will be the only ones to understand every minute detail.
We’ll see you at The Oscars
Peter Pan Donuts
It is officially past midnight in New York City, which is why I am finally more than proud and honored to announce the following. This is for the Spider-Man fans.
Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 releases worldwide exclusively on PlayStation 5 in Fall of this year (or Spring if you’re in Australia).
Alright, let’s do this
All products featured on Vanity Fair are independently selected by Spider-Man fans. However, if you don’t get to preorder the most expensive Collector’s Editions for Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 because you did not pay attention to Vanity Fair, don’t blame us. That’s on you. We’ve prepared all Spider-Man fans in every universe for this exact moment
After graduating from the prestigious Brown University, CHRISTINE EVERHART put her talent and expertise to great use, becoming a seasoned reporter at Vanity Fair. Being the first to get the intimate details of high profile celebrities with the likes of Tony Stark, where Everhart got the inside scoop of Stark’s persona as Iron Man months before he revealed it to the public. Follow her on Twitter
This website has no affiliation with Vanity Fair Earth-1218 and solely exists for the purpose of providing information that occurs in Earth-091523, commonly known as the Twitter-Verse, as well as other universes derived from Earth-616. This Vanity Fair is from another universe. To view Vanity Fair for residents of Earth-1218 go to vanityfair.com